I met the most amazing man. Legit he touched me on the arm and I started to shake. He kissed me and I quivered. Being next to him, hearing him kissing him. I was able to resist him the first night. But the next night? All it took was a five hour make out session, a promise for five guaranteed dates and the whisper of “I like you” with smoky eyes for my will power to disappear into thin air.
Now, I wanted to, but I also didn’t want to. I was tired of having will power for two people, and he agreed to five guaranteed dates before I decided to let go and enjoy the moment.
I gave him back the dates because I realized that it was a terrible idea to have him agree in the first place. I didn’t want someone to feel obligated to see me. I wanted him to choose to see me.
Now the sticky part.
Evidently, I got kinda clingy.
I wonder why expressing genuine interest in someone and enjoying their company is clingy.
It isn’t, unless that interest isn’t shared.
I was secure in the idea of shared interest between us before the texts stopped. Before he rejected my calls. Then I was honest. I told him I was feeling insecure because he hadn’t responded.
For 24 hours.
I think that is a reasonable amount of time to allow someone to text. I wasn’t mean I didn’t spiral into weird one sided conversation text messaging that he got as a three finger scroll the next day. But evidently, even four messages in one day is crazy. I didn’t understand.
wait a second, he promised! he said he liked me!
“Was he trying to get your pants off?”
Well, we had been making out on his bed for five hours, so maybe.
“You dumbass. He would have told you anything if it meant he could get it in. Why did you believe him?”
Why would he lie?
“Because he wanted to take your pants off!”
That is stupid. If he wanted my pants to come off, why didn’t he say I want to fuck you but I’m not ready to date? If he wasn’t ready, he should have told me. By pretending he was interested in dating he lied to trick me. He removed my right to choose how to proceed by allowing me to believe we were starting to date. He took away my choice. Why? He wanted his right to choose to fuck me and dip, what about my right to say I am not interested in a physical only arrangement.
Fuck that. Be honest. Lying is lazy, it’s cheating, and it is unattractive as hell.
It is really bad manners. It is selfish and thoughtless. It is according to everyone I asked normal. What kind of world is it where people lie and people assume they are. Upside down for sure.