My life is so damn hard
In a way no one else
In the whole wide world
Would ever understand.
My problems are worse than all
the billions of people on this planet!
Why doesn’t anyone understand it?
My life, my pain, my terrible past
Means I get a special pass
The rules you have when listening to me
Are Different than the ones I need
You to follow when talking to me.
I need to talk, why aren’t you listening?
I’m trying to repeat the same thing you
just said but louder more insistently
less respectfully and as if it’s me.
Inconsistently demanding you
live to standards I don’t want to.
Listening attentively authentically
Is what I get not give and I don’t see.
How you can so selfishly
talk over me after telling me
you care for me why can’t you see.
I had a hard life my childhood was rough.
While everyone had heaven
I had Hell growing up
I have a list of reasons longer
Than my leg that excuse me
from ever doing consciously choosing
to do the right thing nope I’ll
just keep explaining and blaming
Everybody who is at fault for me
Not being where or how I should be
How can I prove, what evidence do you need
To explain that my heart
is the only one that bleeds!
my head is to screwed up for
anybody to expect me
get over myself and get up
say what’s done is fucked
But I still have feet so I’ll walk on
No way that just can’t be done
im not sure you understand
which isn’t fair I’ve spent
Every minute with you listening
without speaking at all
why cant you do that for me
Why don’t I see drastic
steps taken in an evening
for you to better respect my feelings
i can never be mistreated
after all the places I’ve lived
all the crimes against my body
i deserve a freee pass for life
I do. Not you. You have never been through
anything close to what I went through
None of the 7.8 billion of you
Can feel like I do
thats statistically impossible
i am not responsible
for the actions I have done
i don’t want consequences
i deserve a better run
made some mistakes made corrections
paid attention so I could learn
mans found out who I could be
made the choice to live like I was that person
no excuses just deeds
cuz the winner is the person who discovers what they wil be and decides to do something
better than explaining why I could not
and realized that I would not
and that thought pissed. Me off
so I rose up and brushed it off
started getting ready to pick up
my baggage with a bow and
get back in the race wearing all my weights
Putting in the effort to begin again
not making or taking excuses again.
From myself or anyone else again
consequences have actions
My actions build my life
life is the one thing in the world that I can have
but I can’t stand up and say straight faced
that I may or not have been able to make
the right choice knew what I would be proud to say I spent my life not trying to do but building up who I want to be but hey that’s just me
I just wanna be the kinda person not the words I want to say to figure out why I can’t always
always saying that I’ll try, no I
am going to be just me
and just be grateful for a day waking up and I can walk and talk and see and nothing is wrong with me I’ve grown strong in me
ive looked at the wrong in me truth I’ve seen
that wasn’t very flattering and I just can’t be perfectly responsible.