Because (under construction)

Because!

My life is so damn hard,

In a way No One else

In the whole wide world…

Would EVER understand!

Because! My problems are worse than all

the billions of people on this planet!

Why doesn’t anyone understand it?

My life, my pain, my terrible past,

Means I get a special pass!

The rules you have when listening to me,

Are Different than the ones that I need

You to follow when you are talking to me!

I need to talk, why aren’t you listening?

I’m trying to repeat the same thing

You just said but louder

More insistently,

Less respectfully,

and as if it’s me.

Inconsistently demanding you

live up to standards

That I don’t want to.

Listen to me attentively and authentically

Quietly and endlessly.

How you can so selfishly

talk over me!

Right after telling me

You care for me.

Why can’t you see?

I had a hard life!

My childhood was rough.

While you all played in heaven,

I got tortured in Hell growing up!

I have a list of reasons longer,

Than my leg that will excuse me!

From ever doing,

As in consciously choosing

To do the right thing… Nope!

I’ll just keep explaining why blaming

Everybody else who is at fault for me,

Not being where at the time

I’m supposed to be

That I agreed too,

its not me it MUST be you!

How can I prove, what evidence do you need?

To explain that my heart

is the only one that bleeds!

But!

I still have feet so I’ll  walk on

No way! The fears inside all say

That just can’t be done! And

I’m not sure you understand.

Which isn’t fair, I’ve spent

Every minute all day with you.

Listening to you, barely speaking at all!

Why cant you do that for me occasionally?

Why don’t I see many drastic

Steps ahead taken in one evening

Towards you better respecting my feelings?

I can never be mistreated,

I deserve a free pass, for life!

I do.  Not you. You’ve  never been through

anything close to what I had too.

Not even one, absolutely

NONE out of the 7.8 billion of you

Can feel like I do!

I mean come on,

There is nothing similar in our situations

Sure we both have problems,

but you don’t get to blame them

On others like me!

I get special treatment,

ME! Just me!

The rest of you

All have to go on without it

It’s the only reasonable

And fair way to go about it.

I sat in my chair shocked

By The story she told me.

Strangely certain

of her entitled deserving

Not to be good or be kind.

Just because mom and daddy

Whooped her behind.

 

That is statistically impossible

Geographically implausible

mathmatitically improbable

Yet She is not responsible

for the actions that were done!

She doesn’t  want consequences

To come with her actions.

She will mistakes

She just won’t make corrections!

Or pay  attention so She can learn

Who she is and she can be!

 

 

The winner is the person discovering

Actually accomplishing something

In the time they could be stuck explaining

That they didn’t stand up

After falling in the dirt.

 

Putting in the effort to begin.

Not making excuses to give up  when

Times are tough,

Consequences are shitty,

Keep working through

All the nitty and the gritty.

So I deserve a life that’s pretty.

 

My actions build my life,

The one thing that is mine

To mold and create.

Knowing that I may or

May not have been able to make

The right decisions and mistakes

And chose just not too

Then demanded the rules change

For me but not for you,

I’ve looked at the wrong inside of me

and the truth I’ve seen

wasn’t very flattering

but at least I looked

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